Currently, I am reading “Petty Tyrants & Facing the Unknown,” by Laura Knight-Jadczyk. It’s very wordy and written like a journal, which sometimes makes it tedious, but the contents dusted off some pretty strange memories that were resting on a dark shelf in the back of my mind. I’ve come to the realization that weird happenings tend to diminish in memory due to their very weirdness. This is what those on the opposite side of our dimensional wall can count on.
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| "Dreaming the World" I painted this before the strangeness began |
I’ve been rereading many of my older posts while searching for a particular entry on one of my own strange experiences, “Black Smoke Beings.” I did find it and will place a quote a bit later in this entry. However, I came away with two powerful impressions. First, I need to put much of this work into a book at some point and second, I’ve stated too many times that I’m on the verge of a major life change. Well, here I am three and a half years after I began this project re-chewing the same topics. Am I merely chasing my own tail? I’m approaching my 72nd year and I still feel that my life’s mission is in the future. Most people my age are coasting down the river of life toward their final destination, enjoying the rewards of earlier hard paddling. I feel that my past is still an open project and I am every age I’ve ever been, and yet I haven’t arrived at a clear definition of what I’m supposed to do with it.
The mind has certain habits of rendering life experience and when something happens that is very unusual, if not impossible according to one’s habitual knowledge base and beliefs, the memory of the event may fade away quite rapidly. Weeks or months later, we may reduce it or replace it in memory with something more in line with the conventional world to which we are accustomed. There are a few folks that do the opposite and use any unusual occurrence to make their lives more exceptional and interesting. A number of Alien abductees, UFO viewers, Paranormal and conspiracy buffs probably fall into this groove. However, one need be careful here in judging too quickly. In fact, it is probably best not to judge at all but keep a respectful distance neither pro nor con until one has enough information or experience to come to a personal stance not based on secondary thoughts or conventions. Even then, it is best to keep the topic open to updates. I suppose what I’m actually talking about fits into the phenomena of Cognitive Dissonance. According to Wikipedia:
---- cognitive dissonance is the excessive mental stress and discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time. This stress and discomfort may also arise within an individual who holds a belief and performs a contradictory action or reaction. For example, an individual is likely to experience dissonance if he or she is addicted to smoking cigarettes and continues to smoke despite believing it is unhealthy.
Leon Festinger's theory of cognitive dissonance focuses on how humans strive for internal consistency. When inconsistency (dissonance) is experienced, individuals largely become psychologically distressed. His basic hypotheses are listed below:
1. "The existence of dissonance, being psychologically uncomfortable, will motivate the person to try to reduce the dissonance and achieve consonance"
2. "When dissonance is present, in addition to trying to reduce it, the person will actively avoid situations and information which would likely increase the dissonance"
Another way of resolving cognitive dissonance is that any experience outside of our known reality may be unrecognized for what it is but instead given a memory form that does exist on our reality check- list. My experience is that usually there is a bit of both. However, now and again, a flash of recognition interferes with things as normal, and this flash totally unravels normal.
--- one night I saw the Black Smoke Beings. They were shocked and flustered at being caught in action but it was too late to disappear when they realized that I’d actually seen them. Then lifetimes of tangled distorted communications, frustration, anger and fear flashed by like a movie. It isn’t easy to write about the actual event because generations of interference and meddling in human affairs were revealed in a few seconds the way a lightning flash at night illumines everything but is gone in a nano-second. I could see and hear people from other times, and generations, even family members for generations back trying to communicate with each other but their intended communication was scrambled and distorted resulting in frustration, suspicion, anger and misunderstanding. The resulting emotional energy charge was the food these Black Smoke Beings lived on. They were not doing evil just to be evil; they were indifferent to the outcome. Negative emotion was their food. Not only that but their victims became addicted to negative feelings as well. It gave them a rush of self-righteousness and self-pity. (Could this be a source of the recent popularity of vampire movies?)
These beings seemed to acquire ever more definition from the negative emotions they fed on as they become substantial in their own right. They now had a semi-independent existence that depended on being undiscovered. For quite a while after this experience, I would notice people in town with these demi-beings attached. Some penetrated and encompassed by a dense charcoal grey heaviness, while others were clouded on the surface but not totally saturated.
This occurred during a time when many woo-woo things were happening to me. But, this particular experience explained a lot of my life long frustrations. It was a peek behind the stage curtain, and the beginning of the way through a very difficult time.
Once the forbidden door is open, all kinds of things come through. The fact that I’m reading about some material that I haven’t touched for a number of years has already released some unusual occurrences. Yesterday shortly after noon, we were on speakerphone with our friend Carol in Cottonwood, Arizona. Suddenly something shot like a Lazar beam in an angle across the room from the space between the front window and door to a location between my desk and the refrigerator. When it landed, it made a strange noise resembling how I would expect an electronic water drop to sound. Of course, I immediately wondered if the sound came from my computer on the desk as some unfamiliar error message or notification but discovered that the computer was asleep. PQ talked with his friend Sunny Spruce that afternoon and learned that two young men from the Pueblo had died in an accident, one of them that very afternoon. He thought it might have been the young man’s spirit moving through. However, this was not a person that PQ knew personally. Who Knows? Perhaps we will find out later.
The thing that always surprises me is that none of my unusual experiences has ever seemed astonishing. I think this is partly because there is always a tendency to wonder if what I saw or heard was actually something out of the ordinary. Somehow, at the time it all blends with the ordinary world in such a way that I could only wonder if it wasn’t some fluke in perception. Nevertheless, perception is configured on beliefs about reality and usually those beliefs are culturally agreed on. It helps keep us all on the same page but it also makes us insensitive to a lot of things that exist outside the agreement zone.
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