Sunday, April 14, 2013

THE PREGNANT UNKNOWN OR; There is a certain thrill about losing control

When my cousin Ruthy and I were children we used to ride double on her mare, Nelly  to a favorite open area. We would take her bridal off and then take turns riding  at full gallop across an expanse to the edge of a big ditch and then back using only leg signals. We had accidentally discovered that at some time in a past unknown to us she had been trained to stop when a rider began to dismount. We  rode bareback and that made it even more thrilling.  We trusted her but then there was always the possibility that she would get carried away in the moment and ignore our signals. It didn't happen, but it could have.  Isn't that the way life works most of the time?

I have not written much lately. PQ and I have been busy preparing for a new art showing at 15.Quince, a wonderful Mexican restaurant in Jerome Arizona. However, life is moving into the turbulence of spring, and today owner/chef Vlad Costa informed us that the restaurant is moving to a new building in Cottonwood on the first of May.  Here we were trying to get everything together for a show May fourth and now the date of the show has up-ended.   But how curious! I like the idea of having 15. Quince in Cottonwood, and how unexpected it is. Actually, our life has been moving unpredictably in other ways as well. It is the essence of spring for events to be up-in-the-air like the tumbleweeds blown from who knows where and stopped in their flight only by our back fence. 

 Here is a slide show featuring a number of PQ's new work with his song "Among the Stars" as background.

My feline friends have been an interesting lesson.  A few mornings ago, I opened the door to see who was coming to breakfast and the yellow cat, white cat and little feral black cat were there but so was a large long haired yellow tabby with exactly the same face as the adolescent yellow.  I’ve never seen this cat before and she hasn’t been back since. However, what followed left me wondering just how these animals communicated.  The new adult yellow cat acted as if she knew all about this morning ritual. There was nothing shy or surprised in her behavior.  But, the really interesting part was the way her presence influenced the others. The little black cat that never allowed me very near, and ran off if I looked at her directly, suddenly was at ease and friendly.  I reached down and stroked her back and she arched it rubbing against my leg like a house cat. This was very strange. The other cats were also at ease with each other. The black cat has continued to be far more trusting and friendly. It seemed that the older yellow cat had communicated trust to the others and gave them the belief that we were all family and then went back to wherever she came from. She was wearing a silver collar, so she is somebody’s treasured pet. But she seemed to be a feline Dr. Phil.

The more I watch animals the more I realize that we seriously underestimate them.  The Starlings that live in our bathroom vent have a very complex language that includes wing flapping and shaking as well as an incredible verbal repertoire.  These creatures may not have a language of words but they certainly communicate some complex messages among themselves and even with us if we pay attention.  We humans are very homo centric. Humans may have to face this prejudice soon.

We have taken the drop cloth out of the dining area and enjoyed a few days of living in the whole house. But, I’ve changed during the past three weeks.  I actually miss the clutter of brushes, paint and dropcloth in the middle of the house, while PQ works intensely with flying colors (literally). In fact, something is definitely shifting in my mind and heart.  I’m letting go of the fear of driving off the road into the unknown without any foreseeable income.  Much to my surprise I'm feeling a new  calm expectancy about what may be at the bottom of the drop.

PQ's health has been challenged by  unusually large amounts of allergens in the air. We still hope to someday live in Cottonwood again but are flowing with the spring wind right now.  Like the tumbleweeds we don't know just what fence will stop us.  Sometimes at night after the lights go out I think we are doomed to run out of resources and luck and all the possible awful outcomes attack me in the dark. PQ is not inclined to these attacks.  I once read that the sign of Cancer needs a binge of dreadful possibilities now and then.  After we explore the worst, we have that covered and can proceed with life. Cancer isn't my sun sign, that is Gemini. But with Cancer rising and Moon conjunct Jupiter in Cancer it starts everything I do. After I go through the dark night confrontation with doom, my upbeat Gemini self arises ready to go shopping and out to lunch since I don't have to come up with the mortgage until the end of the month.