Monday, June 18, 2018


The smell of damp earth is healing to the soul. I spent the morning turning over soil and pulling weeds. The previous two nights of soft rain broke a drought that almost killed the plants I’ve loved and nurtured for many years. A week ago, I decided to water the brown grass and give a soft soaking to bushes, and trees. At first, I felt guilty because water is sacred in this semi-arid land and everyone else in the neighborhood is living a water conserving life with dry earth and yellow grass. Then I remembered something I’d experienced in the past. When I water the plants, clouds appear. Perhaps it is because like attracts like, or perhaps the coming clouds speak to my instincts before consciousness receives the message. The important point, is that I couldn’t stand the drought anymore, acted on it and the rains came. Nature is a great teacher.
A week ago the green was brown.

“Energy flows where attention goes.” This is a popular saying but despite its simplicity, we seldom know how to apply it. Our attempts to be rational law abiding and factual according to common wisdom sometimes goes against natural laws. I’m still working on the application of this cosmic principle.

It isn’t unusual to feel depressed or sad in the month preceding one’s Birthday.  However, this year I had quite a dip. It seemed like my whole life had been a useless struggle to climb a hill covered in wet slippery clay and now I was still at the base tired and much older but without visible progress.  Then it occurred to me that I held hopes and expectations for many years that I would eventually achieve certain goals.  Then it occurred to me that the important question was; were these goals based on inner truth, or on assumptions about what success should resemble. 

 Still, that earlier feeling of powerlessness and insignificance required more than improving the garden.  I haven’t improved the world by holding consciousness raising workshops, running campaigns for saving nature, interviewing important people,  starting a charity, or being a top artist but the warm mud, little insects I turned up with my shovel and the intimacy of physical contact with Mother Earth literally brought me back to real life. 

I regret that it’s unlikely that I will ever travel to Europe or Asia, and even a trip out of state isn’t practical right now. However, I acknowledge that nothing in my current life seemed possible a decade ago.  Life isn’t predictable so no use responding emotionally to a possible outcome before its real. 

However, reality itself is a pretty tricky shapeshifter. The best and the worst of humanity seem to be in constant moral combat over reality. Yet opposition never wins the wars since each side sees itself as the right side. Lacking final resolution defeat and victory are temporary. It reminds me of a saying my grandmother often used: “He who is convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”  

While walking in and out of the house during the day, I caught bits of TV news, political interviews and opinions that PQ was watching. It reminded me that hate is another kind of attraction and its magnetic grip is currently holding the media hostage. They expect to put their world back the way it was by analyzing and criticizing. I don’t like the way things are unfolding in the government either, but I feel uneasy with this obsessive attraction. It reminds me of the way moths can’t resist flying into electric lights even if it kills them. Too often while fighting an enemy; we succumb to taking on their ways. If it goes unchecked, we become just a mirror of what we find horrific. 

Again, this is all very tricky. We can’t ignore moral issues in good faith. Today’s news focused on the inhumane practice of separating the children of refugees seeking asylum in the U.S. from their parents. This practice is horrible and it will likely create emotional scars for life.  It reveals that our nation has serious heart trouble, and this involves lack of empathy and a lack of courage. No amount of rational efficiency can compensate for a frozen heart.

The heart is the locus of intention. It mediates between the lower chakras based on instinct and the upper chakras connecting us to higher mind and offering a perspective beyond the individual. A sick or undeveloped heart doesn’t properly deliver life force throughout the body on the physical level and throughout the emotional body connecting us to the rest of the world. 

Although chakra is an ancient Sanskrit word, it is often mistaken for a New Age term. It describes the circular nature of the life force. When the circle is broken or has a weak link, dysfunction is a likely result. Obviously, this is true on many levels from the atomic to the cosmic.  If one chakra is weak or out of balance, the entire system is affected. 

“Let your heart be at peace.
Watch the turmoil of beings
but contemplate their return.

If you don't realize the source,
you stumble in confusion and sorrow.

When you realize where you come from,
you naturally become tolerant,
disinterested, amused,
kindhearted as a grandmother,
dignified as a king.

Immersed in the wonder of the Tao,
you can deal with whatever life brings you,
And when death comes, you are ready.” 


Tuesday, January 30, 2018


Think about it! Time is measured by the daily spin of our planet, and its circular movement around the big boss, our Sun. It could speed up or slow down and we would never know it: Or, would we have the peculiar suspicion that the days were getting smaller.  I can't tell if this is really happening or if adding years to one's memory causes time seemingly to speed up. After all, when I was three years old it seemed like there was never been a time before there was me. We are experientially eternal. Of course, science knows that our entire Solar system is also circling around an even greater center, and so on, and so on. When I was a child, I used to fall over from dizziness thinking of such things. I guess my brain hadn't caught up with my mind, and my body certainly wasn't up to such big thoughts. It probably never will be. 

That brings up another question. Just what is the mind? Is it even in the same body all the time, and is this body I call mine, the same one I started with? I suppose the DNA is the same, but science is learning that DNA is more flexible than originally believed.  Science is just beginning to catch up with metaphysics in this regard. Has my mind entirely moved out of its previous home? I guess that would be the probable hold of karma (karma isn't always bad, just out of date).

 Okay, that leads to another speculation. Is the mind a mediator between the body and spirit or soul, perhaps a stepped down version of soul and stepped up version of body—kind of meeting in the middle, perhaps. Then there is the heart, which science is just beginning to recognize as another kind of thinking organism. Heart intelligence is surer of itself and less analytic. It detects vibes that the brain is too dumb to pick up, or has learned to filter out by cultural conditioning. It seems that the old adages such as, “the heart knows” are genuine.

Beingness seems to consist of the same repetitive patterns all the way from the atomic level to beyond imaginable universes. A universe is just another atom on an immeasurable level. The unfathomability principle, I’ll call it. Actually, it goes in both directions. Who can imagine the subatomic world?  We humans, have a minuscule range of perception. That is what makes, “seeing is believing” a dangerous assumption. Anything really big or really small is out of range. I’ll speculate that it is that intermediary mind trying to fit experience into the little brain that is regulating our interpretation of each situation. 

The brain is probably too big for safety, as it is. The brain we have may end up destroying our world. I believe the Atlantis story, and it doesn’t matter if Atlantis existed in the literal past or is a cautionary tale about the future. It is probably a reality that follows us through each stage, an archetype of misused technology. the intermediary Mind has a really big job.  The most important thing is balancing between worlds. We humans are sadly misinformed about the importance of brainpower.  By now, it should be obvious that some very evil and foolish people have high IQ’s. Bigger brains would only take us to disaster faster. Higher Mind power is the real voucher to the continuance of our existence. I should clarify that it is actually this Higher Mind that has a connection with Sophia, MadamWisdom. She isn’t that well known during our time, but will continue to hold the light for those who want to know.

There is a word out in the cyber world that the Trans-humanism movement is attempting to make an intelligent, immortal being in the human model that will never die. Here is Regina Meredith interviewing William Henry this topic: 
It is also the subject of the 2015 film, Ex Machina. I for one look forward to knocking conscious life up a notch rather than slogging along on the same level of life forever. I also question how Trans-humanism can fit within the cosmic design. At this time, the model is rather empty of higher potential. The brilliant young people who occupy the cyber world are so modern that they have no memory of humanitie's past disasters. Preserving the body and mind without soul and spirit seems as empty as modern art, but modern art is attempting to show us a mirror of where we are heading.

If the cosmos is one super-gigantic hologram, and I believe it is, then those chakras in our bodies that correspond to different intelligences must be a reflection of cosmic energy and design. This life in this world is a step along the way, perhaps a little thread in an intricate weaving that began with one tiny corner of the cosmic loom. We are all related.

This is the kind of stuff that goes through my mind on those nights that I can’t sleep. PQ suggests that I turn on the TV. I usually go to sleep watching TV but I like the soft darkness without distracting sounds, just the stars I see through the window. Cosmic!